Wednesday, August 30, 2006


Worse than a hairshirt?

Scene is a typical family living room. Outside, it's windy but hot, around 30 degrees celcius.
Mom: Go put on shorts. It's too hot out for sweatpants.
Mat: I hate shorts.
Dad: And change into a t-shirt. You'll boil in long sleeves
Mat: I don't have any short shirts left. They're all too small for me.
Dad: They're not _all_ too small for you.
Mom: Go upstairs and look. If I come up and find one, I'll be angry.

Later, at the park. Although there are bikes and a variety of playground equipment options, the two children hover on either side of Mom, who is trying to read a book.

Mom: Why don't you go play in the bushes? Pretend the spaces between are rooms. You could pretend you're in a house or a pet store or something.

The children try, but quickly return.

Mom: What's wrong?
Molly: The bugs are bothering him.
Mat: They're biting my legs. I hate shorts.
Molly: He doesn't want to play in the bushes.
Mom: Go sit and play in the grass. I used to take my Smurfs outside and clear spaces in the grass for shelters and forts. You gather up a bunch of grass and sticks and make-
Mat: Pants?

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